Marriage 911: We need an intervention!

 In marriage

This morning I am sitting in my monthly immunity treatment that I receive as part of my post-cancer healthy life track. It keeps me from being as susceptible and vulnerable to illness as my immunity would normally be without these monthly boosts. As it’s a 30 minute drive from my home to the clinic, I took the chance to enjoy some rare, kid-free car time on the way here, and flipped on some morning radio shows. As it would happen, I stumbled upon two different programs, both discussing romantic relationships.

On the first, the DJ was reading a letter he had received from a listener who wanted to know why his wife nagged him so much. Upon further inspection, he revealed that his wife nagged him because while she had a job, went to school, cooked, cleaned, and paid all the bills, he stayed at home and mostly texted, “sexted” (yes, this is a thing now), and spent his time on social networking sites with other women. The man just couldn’t figure out why his wife nagged him so much and threatened that if she didn’t stop, he would soon be headed to divorce court.

On the second show, the DJ was taking calls from listeners who admitted to agreeing with a new survey which shows that 20% of Americans admit to being married to someone, but in love with somebody else. He asked the listeners if this was their experience and the vast majority of them overwhelmingly agreed. The DJ encouraged one woman in particular not to feel bad because so many others were in the same boat as her, and that it’s okay to feel that way.

I wanted to scream and rage at multiple times during both of these interviews. This is a problem, folks. We need a major marriage intervention. It cannot be okay to “sext” someone else and wonder why your wife is upset. It cannot be okay to entertain thoughts of love and lust for someone who is not your spouse. These things are not okay, and we need to stop treating them as if they are. This is not a simple fix. We’ve become ingrained to follow our hearts (aka our fleeting emotional leaning) above our integrity and our feelings above our commitments. But we need to make a stand on this, or that 20% is going to be much higher in no time.

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