Thursday’s Grace

I’ve learned a lot from my experience with losing a child, but none, perhaps, more so than the complete and utter wastefulness of worry. You may not make the immediate connection between these two events, so let me explain.

We found out that our daughter had no heartbeat on a Monday morning. It was not until very late on that following Thursday evening that I finally delivered her. During the span of time between those 4 days, I had about 100 instances of wondering, “How am I going to be able to do this?” I could not imagine ever being able to do something as traumatizing as delivering a still-born baby. Every time one of those thoughts came up, however, another quickly replaced it:

Thursday’s grace is Thursday’s grace.

The pointless thing about worry is that grace truly only comes in the moment that you need it. I worried and worried about how I would make it through Thursday, and yet, when Thursday came, Thursday’s grace came along with it. The moment was hard and traumatizing and incredibly painful, but there was grace, and it was stronger than any of those other realities. The thing is, though, that the grace was only there in the time it needed to be and not a moment before.

If I worry today about things that are going to take place in my future, I will find myself quickly discouraged and frustrated, simply because I am not meant to be comforted with grace for things that are not yet here. When the time comes, God will give you and I grace to handle and face the things we need to. In the mean time, worrying is futile, and can only lead to damage and anxiety.

Let Thursday’s grace be Thursday’s grace.